Sons of the Confederacy cosplaying with Confederate flags

The MAGA Confederacy

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Governor DeSantis,

You lead your fellow Confederate states as the self-anointed crown prince of rebellion, reviving the ghosts of white supremacy and religious extremism. Florida is taking the lead like the “good ole’ boys” of the Klu Klux Klan, hell-bent on targeting and harassing the gay community.

Members of the Neo-Confederacy

Your “Don’t Say Gay” law goes further than most previous attempts by targeting LGBT youth. By peddling long-disproved homophobic fears about gay adults being groomers, you have successfully cut these young individuals off from mentors and support systems that could guide them along their journey. In isolating and targeting children, you have removed them from their communities and made them vulnerable to the predators and hateful individuals you claim to protect them from. By the way, does your hatred come from the fact that you’re a Catholic and most of your religious leaders have been abusing minors, committing SODOMY and PEDOPHILIA for centuries?

In your mad short-sighted attack against gay folks, you go against nature and outlaw the words of the god you claim to serve. In its research, the Monastery has discovered that humankind has worshipped approximately 2,500 to 18,000 deities, recognizing them as their gods. These gods have made humanity in their image, guiding us along our path throughout history. We can find their will in the laws of nature itself, which you so callously violate.

The History of Religion

To examine nature is to see the will of the gods made plan on earth. From the graceful albatross to the sociable bonobo, one thing is evident; your God made gay animals! Humans, just like animals, can be gay, straight, or most commonly: bisexual. Countless studies have shown that it’s bisexual animals, not straight, that have the highest survival rate and the most genetic diversity. Time to face the facts, we are in a bisexual world, and you’re just living in it!

Homosexual Monkeys

Your statements on gender and sexuality fail to account for an essential natural phenomenon: intersex individuals. Although you may be too uninformed and dense to realize this, thankfully, Jesus of Nazareth, aka “the Fisher of Men,” wasn’t as clueless as you. Saying in Matthew 19:12:

“For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”

In passing these laws and pursuing your bigotry, you have set yourself above; science; your god, among many; and nature. Where will this hatred end, Governor? 

Jesus was not the only person executed for their identity and beliefs. Countless gay people have met the same fate, paying the ultimate price to satisfy the bloodlust of mindless bigots. 

Adolf Hitler’s Execution Mark for Gays

Adolf Hitler forced LGBT people into concentration camps, marking them for mass murder with a pink triangle. Hitler, too, claimed to be on the side of God, and millions died as a result.

Just as the symbol of the cross signifies the sacrifice of Jesus for his followers, the pink triangle is now a symbol of hope and liberation for gay people around the world. Representing their resilience in the face of hatred and their unyielding bonds of community. We will continue to exist, thrive, and love long after you and your pathetic hatred fade into history.

To honor our heroic gay forebears who fought bravely for equality and liberation, the Universal Life Church Monastery proudly recognizes the Pink Triangle as a religious symbol. A symbol of the sacrifices made by many in the ongoing battle against bigotry and a beacon of hope for a future where love prevails over hatred.

Listen up, Governor; the message is loud and clear. It’s all in the rhythm, the music of life. The simplest of lyrics that even you should understand. In case you missed it, it’s telling you that the birds do it, the bees do it, and even educated fleas do it (they fall in love). 

The music of life is playing, Governor, and it’s time for you to wake up and dance to the beat.

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